Anthony's Literary Lens

Category: comedy

  • The Eternal City in Black & White

    The Eternal City in Black & White

    Why Rome Captured My Soul.

    There are cities you visit, and then there is Rome. To walk its ancient streets is to step into a time machine, where 2,000 years of history isn’t tucked away in museums—it simply is.

    And yet, it’s not the sheer age that makes Rome so wonderful; it’s the seamless blend of the monumental and the mundane.
    In my recent trip, I chose to photograph the Eternal City in black and white, and the results revealed a profound truth: Rome’s beauty is inherent, stripped bare of the vibrant colours, it’s the texture, light, and form that tell the story.
    A Masterpiece in Monochome
    Imagine the scene:
    * The raw, weathered stone of the Colosseum or the Roman Forum, standing as a powerful, immutable silhouette against the sky.
    * The delicate play of light and shadow across a Baroque fountain, like the Trevi, transforming its rushing water into a shimmering, ethereal mist.
    * The contrast between a thousand-year-old pillar and the contemporary Roman sipping espresso at its base.
    Rome is an open-air museum, yes, but it’s also a living, breathing, bustling home. You can witness a laundry line strung between ancient buildings or see Vespa headlights carving streaks of light through a narrow alley in Trastevere.
    It’s in these contrasts—the immortal ruins juxtaposed with fleeting, everyday moments—that Rome truly works its magic. It is a city that reminds us that everything changes, yet the human spirit, and the beauty we create, can endure.
    Why Rome is Wonderful:
    * The Depth of Time: Every street corner holds a surprise, a piece of ancient art, or a fragment of a lost world.
    * The Food & Spirit: It is a city that insists you slow down, enjoy a simple, perfect cacio e pepe, and savour the moment.
    * The Unexpected Beauty: From grand basilicas to crumbling archways, grandeur is simply the backdrop to daily life.
    To look through my black and white photos is to see the soul of Rome—timeless, powerful, and utterly captivating. It’s a city that stays with you, long after you’ve left its cobblestones behind.

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    Tap here for a list of 100 endangered animals and plants.

    100 endangered plant and animal species

    * Abies beshanzuensis (Baishan fir) – Plant (Tree) – Baishanzu Mountain, Zhejiang, China – Three mature individuals

    * Actinote zikani – Insect (butterfly) – Near São Paulo, Atlantic forest, Brazil – Unknown numbers

    * Aipysurus foliosquama (Leaf scaled sea-snake) – Reptile – Ashmore Reef and Hibernia Reef, Timor Sea – Unknown numbers * Amanipodagrion gilliesi (Amani flatwing) – Insect (damselfly) – Amani-Sigi Forest, Usamabara Mountains, Tanzania – < 500 individuals * Antisolabis seychellensis – Insect – Morne Blanc, Mahé island, Seychelles – Unknown numbers * Antilophia bokermanni (Araripe manakin) – Bird – Chapado do Araripe, South Ceará, Brazil – 779 individuals * Aphanius transgrediens (Aci Göl toothcarp) – Fish – south-eastern shore of former Lake Aci, Turkey – Few hundred pairs * Aproteles bulmerae (Bulmer’s fruit bat) – Mammal – Luplupwintern Cave, Western Province, Papua New Guinea – 150 * Ardea insignis (White bellied heron) – Bird – Bhutan, North East India and Myanmar – 70–400 individuals * Ardeotis nigriceps (Great Indian bustard) – Bird – Rajasthan, Gujarat, Maharashtra, Andhra Pradesh, Karnataka and Madhya, India – 50–249 mature individuals * Astrochelys yniphora (Ploughshare tortoise) – Reptile – Baly Bay region, northwestern Madagascar – 440–770 * Atelopus balios (Rio Pescado stubfoot toad) – Amphibian – Azuay, Cañar and Guyas provinces, south-western Ecuador – Unknown numbers * Aythya innotata (Madagascar pochard) – Bird – volcanic lakes north of Bealanana, Madagascar – 80 mature individuals * Azurina eupalama (Galapagos damsel fish) – Fish – Unknown numbers – Unknown numbers * Bahaba taipingensis (Giant yellow croaker) – Fish – Chinese coast from Yangtze River, China to Hong Kong – Unknown numbers * Batagur baska (Common batagur) – Reptile (turtle) – Bangladesh, Cambodia, India, Indonesia and Malaysia – Unknown numbers * Bazzania bhutanica – Plant – Budini and Lafeti Khola, Bhutan – 2 sub-populations * Beatragus hunteri (Hirola) – Mammal (antelope) – South-east Kenya and possibly south-west Somalia – < 1,000 individuals * Bombus franklini (Franklin’s bumblebee) – Insect (bee) – Oregon and California – Unknown numbers * Brachyteles hypoxanthus (Northern muriqui / Woolly spider monkey) – Mammal (primate) – Atlantic forest, south-eastern Brazil – < 1,000 * Bradypus pygmaeus (Pygmy three-toed sloth) – Mammal – Isla Escudo de Veraguas, Panama – < 500 * Callitriche pulchra – Plant (freshwater) – pool on Gavdos, Greece – Unknown numbers * Calumma tarzan (Tarzan’s chameleon) – Reptile – Anosibe An’Ala region, eastern Madagascar – < 100 * Cavia intermedia (Santa Catarina’s guinea pig) – Mammal (rodent) – Moleques do Sul Island, Santa Catarina, Brazil – 40–60 * Cercopithecus roloway (Roloway guenon) – Mammal (primate) – Côte d’Ivoire – Unknown numbers * Coleura seychellensis (Seychelles sheath-tailed bat) – Mammal (bat) – Two small caves on Silhouette and Mahé, Seychelles – < 100 * Cryptomyces maximus (Willow blister) – Fungi – Pembrokeshire, United Kingdom – Unknown numbers * Cryptotis nelsoni (Nelson’s small-eared shrew) – Mammal (shrew) – Volcán San Martín Tuxtla, Veracruz, Mexico – Unknown numbers * Cyclura collei (Jamaican iguana / Jamaican rock iguana) – Reptile – Hellshire Hills, Jamaica – Unknown numbers * Daubentonia madagascariensis (Aye-aye) – Mammal (primate) – Deciduous forest, East Madagascar – Unknown numbers * Dendrophylax fawcettii (Cayman Islands ghost orchid) – Plant (orchid) – Ironwood Forest, George Town, Grand Cayman – Unknown numbers * Dicerorhinus sumatrensis (Sumatran rhino) – Mammal (rhino) – Sabah, Sarawak and Peninsular Malaysia, Kalimantan and Sumatra, Indonesia – < 100 (more recent estimates suggest 34-47) * Diomedea amsterdamensis (Amsterdam albatross) – Bird – Breeds on Plateuau des Tourbières, Amsterdam Island, Indian Ocean. – 100 mature individuals * Dioscorea strydomiana (Wild yam) – Plant – Oshoek area, Mpumalanga, South Africa – 200 * Diospyros katendei – Plant (tree) – Kasyoha-Kitomi Forest Reserve, Uganda – 20 individuals in a single population * Dipterocarpus lamellatus – Plant (tree) – Siangau Forest Reserve, Sabah, Malaysia – 12 individuals * Discoglossus nigriventer (Hula painted frog) – Amphibian – Hula Valley, Israel – Unknown numbers * Dombeya mauritiana – Plant – Mauritius – Unknown numbers * Elaeocarpus bojeri (Bois Dentelle) – Plant (tree) – Grand Bassin, Mauritius – < 10 individuals * Eleutherodactylus glandulifer (La Hotte glanded frog) – Amphibian – Massif de la Hotte, Haiti – Unknown numbers * Eleutherodactylus thorectes (Macaya breast-spot frog) – Amphibian – Formon and Macaya peaks, Masif de la Hotte, Haiti – Unknown numbers * Eriosyce chilensis (Chilenito (cactus)) – Plant – Pta Molles and Pichidungui, Chile – < 500 individuals * Erythrina schliebenii (Coral tree) – Plant – Namatimbili-Ngarama Forest, Tanzania – < 50 individuals * Euphorbia tanaensis – Plant (tree) – Witu Forest Reserve, Kenya – 4 mature individuals * Eurynorhyncus pygmeus (Spoon-billed sandpiper) – Bird – Breeds in Russia, migrates along the East Asian-Australasian Flyway to wintering grounds in India, Bangladesh and Myanmar – 100 breeding pairs * Ficus katendei – Plant – Kasyoha-Kitomi Forest Reserve, Ishasha River, Uganda – < 50 mature individuals * Geronticus eremita (Northern bald ibis) – Bird – Breeds in Morocco, Turkey and Syria. Syrian population winters in central Ethiopia. – About 3000 individuals * Gigasiphon macrosiphon – Plant (flower) – Kaya Muhaka, Gongoni and Mrima Forest Reserves, Kenya, Amani Nature Reserve, West Kilombero Scarp Forest Reserve, and Kihansi Gorge, Tanzania – 33 * Gocea ohridana – Mollusc – Lake Ohrid, Macedonia – Unknown numbers * Heleophryne rosei (Table mountain ghost frog) – Amphibian – Table Mountain, Western Cape Province, South Africa – Unknown numbers * Hemicycla paeteliana – Mollusc (land snail) – Jandia peninsula, Fuerteventura, Canary Islands – Unknown numbers * Heteromirafa sidamoensis (Liben lark) – Bird – Liben Plains, southern Ethiopia – 90–256 * Hibiscadelphus woodii – Plant (tree) – Kalalau Valley, Hawaii – Unknown numbers * Hucho perryi (Sakhalin taimen) – Fish – Russian and Japanese rivers, Pacific Ocean between Russia and Japan – Unknown numbers * Johora singaporensis (Singapore freshwater crab) – Crustacean – Bukit Timah Nature Reserve and streamlet near Bukit Batok, Singapore – Unknown numbers * Lathyrus belinensis (Belin vetchling) – Plant – Outskirts of Belin village, Antalya, Turkey – < 1,000 * Leiopelma archeyi (Archey’s frog) – Amphibian – Coromandel peninsula and Whareorino Forest, New Zealand – Unknown numbers * Lithobates sevosus (Dusky gopher frog) – Amphibian – Harrison County, Mississippi, USA – 60–100 * Lophura edwardsi (Edwards’s pheasant) – Bird – Quang Binh, Quang Tri and Thua Thien-Hue, Viet Nam – Unknown numbers * Magnolia wolfii – Plant (tree) – Risaralda, Colombia – 3 * Margaritifera marocana – Mollusc – Oued Denna, Oued Abid and Oued Beth, Morocco – < 250 * Moominia willii – Mollusc (snail) – Silhouette Island, Seychelles – < 500 * Natalus primus (Cuban greater funnel eared bat) – Mammal (bat) – Cueva La Barca, Isle of Pines, Cuba – < 100 * Nepenthes attenboroughii (Attenborough’s pitcher plant) – Plant – Mount Victoria, Palawan, Philippines – Unknown numbers * Nomascus hainanus (Hainan black crested gibbon) – Mammal (primate) – Hainan Island, China – 20 * Neurergus kaiseri (Luristan newt) – Amphibian – Zagros Mountains, Lorestan, Iran – < 1,000 * Oreocnemis phoenix (Mulanje red damsel) – Insect (damselfly) – Mulanje Plateau, Malawi – Unknown numbers * Pangasius sanitwongsei (Pangasid catfish) – Fish – Chao Phraya and Mekong basins in Cambodia, China, Lao PDR, Thailand and Viet Nam – Unknown numbers * Parides burchellanus – Insect (butterfly) – Cerrado, Brazil – < 100 * Phocoena sinus (Vaquita) – Mammal (porpoise) – Northern Gulf of California, Mexico – 12 * Picea neoveitchii (Type of spruce tree) – Plant (tree) – Qinling Range, China – Unknown numbers * Pinus squamata (Qiaojia pine) – Plant (tree) – Qiaojia, Yunnan, China – < 25 * Poecilotheria metallica (Gooty tarantula / Metallic tarantula / Peacock tarantula / Salepurgu) – Spider – Nandyal and Giddalur, Andhra Pradesh, India – Unknown numbers * Pomarea whitneyi (Fatuhiva monarch) – Bird – Fatu Hiva, Marquesas Islands, French Polynesia – 50 * Pristis pristis (Common sawfish) – Fish – Coastal tropical and subtropical waters of Indo-Pacific and Atlantic Oceans. Currently largely restricted to northern Australia – Unknown numbers * Hapalemur simus (Greater bamboo lemur) – Mammal (primate) – Southeastern and southcentral rainforests of Madagascar – 500 * Propithecus candidus (Silky sifaka) – Mammal (primate) – Maroantsetra to Andapa basin, and Marojeju Massif, Madagascar – 100–1,000 * Psammobates geometricus (Geometric tortoise) – Reptile – Western Cape Province, South Africa – Unknown numbers * Pseudoryx nghetinhensis (Saola) – Mammal – Annamite mountains, on the Viet Nam – PDR Laos border – Unknown numbers * Psiadia cataractae – Plant – Mauritius – Unknown numbers * Psorodonotus ebneri (Beydaglari bush-cricket) – Insect – Beydaglari range, Antalaya, Turkey – Unknown numbers * Rafetus swinhoei (Red River giant softshell turtle) – Reptile – Hoan Kiem Lake and Dong Mo Lake, Viet Nam, and Suzhou Zoo, China – 3 * Rhinoceros sondaicus (Javan rhino) – Mammal (rhino) – Ujung Kulon National Park, Java, Indonesia – < 100 * Rhinopithecus avunculus (Tonkin snub-nosed monkey) – Mammal (primate) – Northeastern Vietnam – < 200 * Rhizanthella gardneri (West Australian underground orchid) – Plant (orchid) – Western Australia, Australia – < 100 * Rhynchocyon spp. (Boni giant sengi) – Mammal – Boni-Dodori Forest, Lamu area, Kenya – Unknown numbers * Risiocnemis seidenschwarzi (Cebu frill-wing) – Insect (damselfly) – Rivulet beside the Kawasan River, Cebu, Philippines – Unknown numbers * Rosa arabica – Plant – St Katherine Mountains, Egypt – Unknown numbers, 10 sub-populations * Salanoia durrelli (Durrell’s vontsira) – Mammal (mongoose) – Marshes of Lake Alaotra, Madagascar – Unknown numbers * Santamartamys rufodorsalis (Red crested tree rat) – Mammal (rodent) – Sierra Nevada de Santa Marta, Colombia – Unknown numbers * Scaturiginichthys vermeilipinnis (Red-finned blue-eye) – Fish – Edgbaston Station, central western Queensland, Australia – 2,000–4,000 * Squatina squatina (Angel shark) – Fish – Canary Islands – Unknown numbers * Sterna bernsteini (Chinese crested tern) – Bird – Breeding in Zhejiang and Fujian, China. Outside breeding season in Indonesia, Malaysia, Philippines, Taiwan, Thailand. – < 50 * Syngnathus watermeyeri (Estuarine pipefish) – Fish – Kariega Estuary to East Kleinemonde Estuary, Eastern Cape Province, South Africa – Unknown numbers * Tahina spectabilis (Suicide palm / Dimaka) – Plant – Analalava district, north-western Madagascar – 90 * Telmatobufo bullocki (Bullock’s false toad) – Amphibian (frog) – Nahuelbuta, Arauco Province, Chile – Unknown numbers * Tokudaia muenninki (Okinawa spiny rat) – Mammal (rodent) – Okinawa Island, Japan – Unknown numbers * Trigonostigma somphongsi (Somphongs’s rasbora) – Fish – Mae Khlong basin, Thailand – Unknown numbers * Valencia letourneuxi – Fish – Southern Albania and Western Greece – Unknown numbers * Voanioala gerardii (Forest coconut) – Plant – Masoala peninsula, Madagascar – < 10 * Zaglossus attenboroughi (Attenborough’s echidna) – Mammal – Cyclops Mountains, Papua Province, Indonesia – Unknown numbers

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  • Retro Revival: Peace, Love, and the Eternal Appeal of Bell-Bottoms

    Retro Revival: Peace, Love, and the Eternal Appeal of Bell-Bottoms

    Now, snap back to 2025. You’re scrolling Instagram, and suddenly—there it is: a perfectly curated photo of someone wearing bell-bottoms, holding a macramé handbag, and standing in front of a van that says, “Groovy Times.” It hits you like a cloud of secondhand incense. You want that. You want to live in that vibe. Even if the closest you’ve come to protesting is rage-quitting Twitter, and the only grass you’ve touched is your kale smoothie.

    But why? Why does the hippy era continue to have such a chokehold on us? Is it the aesthetic? The music? The idea of peace and love when the world feels like a chaotic dumpster fire? Or is it just that we secretly love the smell of leather fringe and marijuana? Let’s light an imaginary joint (or, you know, a soy candle) and dive in.


    The Eternal Coolness of Being Chill
    There’s something deeply appealing about the hippy ethos of “turn on, tune in, drop out.” Sure, it was originally about rebelling against The Man and escaping societal norms, but let’s face it: in the era of burnout and hustle culture, who doesn’t want to “drop out”? We’re not even dropping out to go to Woodstock. We’re dropping out just to stay in bed and doom-scroll TikTok. It’s the same energy, but with fewer drum circles.

    The hippies didn’t have smartphones, but they did have time to sit in fields and strum guitars while pondering the meaning of existence. They were about connection—real, face-to-face, let’s-hold-hands-and-feel-the-earth-between-our-toes connection. Compare that to now, where we’re lucky if we make it through a FaceTime call without accidentally freezing mid-sentence.


    Fashion That Says, “I’m One with the Universe (and Maybe a Little High)”
    Let’s talk about the clothes. The bell-bottoms. The crochet tops. The flower crowns. It’s as if someone looked at conventional clothing and said, “What if we dressed like we’re part of the scenery at Joshua Tree?”

    And somehow, decades later, it still works. There’s something undeniably freeing about wearing something flowy and unstructured. It’s like telling the world, “I’m not going to let pants dictate my day. I’m here to vibe.” Plus, let’s be honest—retro fashion hides a multitude of sins. No one’s checking if you did leg day when you’re swishing around in palazzo pants.


    The Music Was Better When It Was Vinyl
    I know, I know. Every generation says their music was the best, but let’s get real for a second: the ’60s and ’70s absolutely crushed it. The Beatles. Janis Joplin. Hendrix shredding a guitar like it owed him money. It wasn’t just music; it was a movement.

    When you drop a needle on a vinyl record, it’s like entering a time machine. There’s that warm crackle, the richness of analog sound, and the fact that you can’t skip tracks without looking like a DJ who lost their way. You’re forced to experience the music, which is maybe why it hits so hard.


    Rebellion, but Make It Whimsical
    At its heart, the hippy era wasn’t just about fashion or music; it was about flipping the bird to societal norms. Peace, love, and rebellion—wrapped up in a tie-dyed bow. They were idealistic to a fault, but maybe that’s why we love them.

    In a world where we’re bombarded with bad news and hot takes, there’s something comforting about looking back on a time when people truly believed they could change the world. Sure, the execution was messy (and often involved questionable substances), but the dream was beautiful.


    Why Retro Revival Is Here to Stay
    So why do we keep going back to this era? Because it reminds us of possibility. Of creativity. Of sticking flowers in your hair and flipping off Richard Nixon. Retro revival isn’t just about aesthetics—it’s about recapturing the feeling that maybe, just maybe, things can get better if we all hold hands and sing “All You Need Is Love.”

    And if that doesn’t work, at least we’ll look fabulous in fringe jackets while we try.

    There you go—a whimsical, irreverent homage to the hippy era, written with the kind of energy that says, “Pass the kale chips and crank up Fleetwood Mac.”

    What do era would you like to go back to?

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  • Popty Ping and Other Reasons to Love Welsh

    Popty Ping and Other Reasons to Love Welsh

    So, Welsh. Yeah, it’s a real language, and no, it’s not just random consonants tossed into a Scrabble bag. It’s one of the oldest languages in Europe, spoken in Wales, where people know their sheep as good as their weather forecast (usually rain). But seriously, it’s a living, breathing language with a rich history and, let’s be honest, a bit of a PR problem. I mean, have you ever tried convincing someone that *Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch* is a legitimate place and not the sound of a cat walking across a keyboard?

    Abermawr Beach
    Llyn Llydaw. With Snowdon in the background

    Welsh, or ‘Cymraeg’ as the locals call it (pronounced “kum-RAIG,” by the way), is one of the Celtic languages. Think Gaelic, but with more ll’s, which, in case you were wondering, is not just a double “L.” It’s a soft, breathy sound that feels like trying to whisper to someone with a mouthful of marshmallows. It’s oddly satisfying once you get the hang of it. 

    For Welsh people, the language isn’t just words; it’s identity. It’s how they connect to their ancestors, their culture, and their sense of place in the world. Speaking Welsh is like wearing a badge that says, “I survived centuries of cultural suppression, and all I got was this vowel-deficient language.” But they wear that badge proudly. 

    Now, let’s talk about how it sounds. Welsh has this sing-song quality that makes everything sound like it should be sung from the top of a windy hill in a BBC period drama. Even the most mundane phrases feel poetic. Take “Sut wyt ti?” which means “How are you?” It’s pronounced something like “Sit OO-ee tea,” and it makes you feel like you should answer with a sonnet instead of a shrug. 

    Then there’s the word ‘hiraeth’. Oh, hiraeth. It’s one of those untranslatable words that’ll make you feel all philosophical and deep. It roughly means a longing for a home you can’t return to, or maybe one that never really existed. It’s the emotional equivalent of looking at an old photo and feeling like your heart’s been dunked in tea. 

    But not everything in Welsh is wistful and poetic. Some words are just plain fun to say. Like ‘popty ping’, which is slang for microwave. Yes, ‘popty ping’. How can you not love a language where heating leftovers sounds like a kid naming a spaceship? 

    Want to impress your friends? Try this: say ‘diolch’ (DEE-olkh). That’s “thank you.” Or ‘iechyd da’ (yeh-CHID dah), which is “cheers.” But watch out for that “ch.” It’s like clearing your throat, but, you know, politely. 

    Learning Welsh is like joining an exclusive club. Sure, it’s a small club, but it’s mighty. And the members? They’ll welcome you with open arms because every new speaker is a little victory for a language that’s survived against the odds. 

    So, whether you’re planning a trip to Wales, have Welsh roots, or just want to spice up your life with some extra consonants, give Welsh a shot. You might not master the ‘ll’ sound on day one, but you’ll definitely feel like you’re part of something special. And who knows? You might even find yourself yelling “Cymru am byth!” (“Wales forever!”) at a rugby match one day. 

    Until then, ‘hwyl fawr’! That’s “goodbye” in Welsh, and it’s pronounced, well… just trust me on this one.

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  • Paranoia vs. Pronoia: The Great Human-Cat Divide

    Paranoia vs. Pronoia: The Great Human-Cat Divide

    Let’s talk about cats and humans. Specifically, how the furry little weirdos somehow manage to strut through life like the universe is their personal concierge, while we humans spiral into a bottomless pit of “What ifs” and “Oh no’s.” It’s like we got the short end of the cosmic stick when it comes to outlooks. Cats? They’re pronoia personified (or catified?), blissfully convinced the world is out to shower them with treats, cozy napping spots, and adoration. Meanwhile, humans are busy clutching their tin-foil hats, muttering about how the universe is definitely planning something nefarious.

    Peekaboo

    Pronoia (noun) /ˌproʊˈnɔɪ.ə/ 
    The belief or sense that the universe is conspiring in your favor, actively working to bring you good fortune, happiness, and opportunities. 
    Example: “With pronoia guiding their every move, the cat confidently sat under the table, certain that a piece of ham would eventually fall just for them.” 
    (Contrast with paranoia, the belief that the universe is conspiring against you.)

    Picture this: You’re in your kitchen, minding your own business, and you drop a piece of ham. Before you can even say “five-second rule,” your cat materializes out of thin air like a tiny, furry magician. In their mind, that ham didn’t just *fall*—it was delivered. A gift from the cosmos, just for them. And if you try to take it back? Well, prepare for a look that could wither your soul. Cats don’t believe in accidents; they believe in destiny. Specifically, *their* destiny, where everything good inevitably flows their way.

    I can see you

    Now, contrast that with us. You drop the same ham, and what’s your first thought? “Oh no, what if it’s contaminated?” Or maybe, “What if someone saw me? Do I look clumsy?” Or, if you’re me, it’s “Great, now the ham gods are angry.” See the difference? Cats assume life is working for them. We assume life is conspiring against us. And honestly, I’m not saying cats are smarter than us, but they’re definitely less stressed.

    I once read this article about how humans are hardwired for paranoia because it helped our ancestors survive. You know, spotting saber-toothed tigers lurking in the bushes or deciding not to eat the funny-looking berries that made Cousin Oog act a little too “creative” at the last cave party. But here’s the thing: there are no saber-toothed tigers anymore. There’s just email. And deadlines. And the horrifying realization that your boss read your Slack message but hasn’t replied yet. We’ve evolved past the berries, but not the spiraling.

    Cats, though? They didn’t get the memo. They’re still out here living their best pronoid lives. Ever seen a cat climb into a box? It’s not just a box—it’s a castle, a fortress, a space shuttle to Mars. Every shadow on the wall is an adventure. Every sunbeam is a spotlight meant to highlight their glory. Cats genuinely believe they’re the Beyoncé of mammals, and honestly? They’re not wrong.

    Meanwhile, humans are sitting here going, “What if my box collapses? What if the sunbeam’s carcinogenic? What if someone thinks I look stupid climbing into this metaphorical box?” It’s exhausting. We’re exhausting. I once saw my cat chase a moth for twenty minutes, miss it entirely, and still walk away looking smug, like *not* catching it was the plan all along. Can you imagine if we lived like that? If we just shrugged off our failures and strutted away like, “Yeah, that’s exactly how I wanted it to go”?

    Here’s the kicker, though: maybe we could learn a thing or two from cats. Not the part where they knock your water glass off the table just to prove they can—nobody needs that kind of chaos energy—but the part where they genuinely believe the world is a good place. Maybe the universe isn’t out to get us. Maybe it’s just dropping random pieces of ham, and it’s up to us to decide if it’s a gift or a trap.

    So next time life hands you a metaphorical ham slice, channel your inner cat. Take it, eat it (unless it’s actually on the floor; we’re not savages), and assume it’s exactly what you deserve. Because honestly? It probably is.

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  • Lol Cattitude

    Lol Cattitude

    When you’re feeling down and blue,
    A kitty’s cuddle can see you through,
    Their warmth and love your heart will heal
    And make you all the better feel.

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    O hai frens! Me wanna talk bout kittehs, y’all! Kittehs bein’ kittehs, dey do whateva dey want, but we luv dem anywayz. Dey climb trees, run super fast, and always be cleanin’ demselves. If yoo know kittehs, yoo know dey can jus sit in one spot for hourz and stare at yoo like yoo crazy.

    OMG, frens, kittehs make such great pets! Dey jus sit by ya side and purr, and rub on ya legs. Dat make us so happy and we feel loved. And dey can catch all da icky pests like rats and stuff dat we don’t want in our houses.

    Can haz cheezburger, I do plea,
    Make it tasty, just for me,
    I’ll purr and rub and be so nice,
    For it is as good as a mice.

    But sometimes, kittehs can be difficult too. Dey might jus decide dey don’t wanna listen to ya and jus stare at yoo like yoo silly. Dey might even refuse to eat da food yoo give dem. But we still luv dem, cuz dey make us laugh and feel happy.

    If yoo wanna keep a kitteh as a pet, yoo gotta feed dem what dey like. Dey don’t eat anything like doggies do. Dey like fish, chicken, and all dat good meaty stuff. Oh, and a little bit of milk will make dem feel like dey in kitteh heaven.

    So, kittehs are da best pets ever, as long as yoo take care of dem right. Dey might stare at yoo like yoo nutz, but dat don’t mean dey don’t love yoo. Just give dem some good noms, and dey’ll be happy to do all kinda silly things for yoo. So, frens, if yoo never had a kitteh as a pet, yoo gotta try it! It’s so much fun! Meow!

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